in 2 months i'd have been working for a year! this morning, i scrolled through the places where i store bits of my thoughts. 18 months ago i wrote "i'm full of hope for the future". 13 months ago i wrote "so stressed about everything", 7 months ago "things could change in a few months". And now i'm here....those thoughts feel far away now.
i think it's strange how i ended up here. never thought i would like work so much, much less in a law firm. but work is fun...work is stressful...work is an opiate. it is the source of my stress but the taker of my unhappiness. when i am truly busy, i have no time to meditate on my unhappiness, if any. there are times i get angry with myself for my incompetence and stupidity, but there are times where things get done right and i feel good. my feelings about work are really that binary. i love learning new things, i love observing people, i love my office, i love my table, i love the people i work with, i love the people who aren't in my team but who i get to hang out with at drinks, or at the occasional lazy lunches. i love the really good nights out (lol my friend and i agree that's the 2nd best thing about work - eating and drinking expensive stuff on other people's tab, besides getting paid), i love the bits of time where we get to talk about things like music with music buffs (i learnt last week that one of them was in a band called the concrete dildos, another in one called the psychic semen) talk about religion with religion buffs, holidays with travel buffs, movies with movie buffs, and food with everyone. i dunno. i think things feel happy and right. some days are harder to stomach but thats okay. maybe things will change, new trainees come, people come and go or change, the cycle continues...but who knows? i'm pretty happy now.
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