15th april 2014

my dad's favourite song. from his favourite movie fei cheng wu rao! we also watch the tv series dating show of the same name every week - thats a whole long story on its own, for another time - but basically he told me fei cheng wu rao is short for "fei cheng yi, wu da rao" which translates to "unless you're sincere, please do not disturb".

lyrical translation of the song, but might be a crude one, still sounds most beautiful in chinese:

come fly with me, no matter how long we fly, we wont get tired
i don't care about the so called right or wrong
and even if love were a fragile rose,
i'd still be willing to endure it for its imperfect perfection
so it is, that i've realized that snowstorms can make me strong and still move me

fall into my dreams,
even if all we had was just a spark,
it will still light up my smile

so it is that i've realized that i have a little control over my fate
the rainbow still shines through the blurriness of my tears

the smoke is dissipating,
the life of the firework is short-lived
but the lighthouse will never be lonely because you are the shore."

:')

15th apr
"today my dad came back from his two week business trip and at night we both went out for supper at our favourite supper place aka old town white coffee. we spent an hour after reading in silence together. i like how unplanned these things are, we just lapse into them because thats how similar both of us are. before that he was telling me about work, and then went on to the things he saw in kyoto, and the thousand temples i should go see, scrap your other plans he says, and stay in gion. he tells me of his hopes and dreams for me, and how he has chosen a specific path that will give me a life surely better than his. not sure what to make of it every time he says such things. not that i don't want a better life for myself, i just wonder if his idea of "better" truly is what it is. regardless, i find that alot of the things i do, i do to seek his approval. the other weekend we went back to his hometown of ipoh, i ordered a bowl of ipoh horfun, his favourite, and he turned to me and said "you're truly papa's daughter" - as if to say, "i see myself in you". i don't think i was ever prouder and happier.  i went on to eat 6 bowls of those in two days. and other times, he beams when i speak fluent cantonese with my relatives who i see once a year, and when i know the names of the herbs that go into our daily soup. he was beaming too, when on the way back, i asked to play his favourite song over the car radio.

i love my dad, my complicated hero."