in a dream you saw a way to survive and you were full of joy

i just wanted to say how utterly touched i am by everyone who has been here with me these few days. its the exams...and you are all tired, and stressed, we're all fighting our own battles. but you guys who have bothered with the kind words, genuine concerns, emails & multiple texts, and asking to hang out even through these busy times, just to make me feel better have REALLY helped me so much. you have no idea! i am really so damn grateful for the fact that i actually have friends like these. really. really. really. i can't emphasize how touched i am. i really wont forget this.

i know sometimes i laugh and cackle loudly at really dumb jokes. listen to stupid trashy music. talk about seemingly retarded things. i guess its so much easier to be happy when you numb your mind with silly senseless things. in my book of survival, denial is the first line of defence; i guess if your cheery, excitable facade convinces others you are that way, then maybe one day i will be able to convince myself that i am in fact, happy.