clavicola's strange encounter with a gypsy

"A woman with sagging breasts and white flip flops read my palms today.

We passed by a small shop painted white with a silhouette of a man with his chakras all pointed out drawn on the side of the doorframe. Said there was a special for five dollars, and we thought why not, and walked inside to a room too small to be considered a room. More like a closet space with a door attached, a desk full of crystals, two chairs and a small table with a white cloth over it. I suppose the reason I allow myself to believe in these things is because I’m not comfortable with my own future and want it premeditated so that I have something grounded to believe in. A second palm reading and still I left feeling like I didn’t collect enough pieces of myself to stitch together a human being. She held my hands, only for a second, and told me that I would live a long life, and I laughed, for a second, because she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know, and ah. She told me that I was sensitive, that I had a beautiful aura, looked at me and questioned my face, told me that I’m kind and good-hearted, that she can see it in me, but that I’m easily taken advantage of. She told me that though I’m always there to help others no one’s there to help me and she caught me looking down and asked me what I was thinking and I just nodded at her and smiled. I don’t know.

You see maybe it’s all just a scam and chances are it is but I put a lot of faith into the world and want to believe that there’s such a thing as beauty and such a thing as five dollar fortunes being accurate and I want to believe that there’s some higher entity that’s pulling me forwards through the world. This is the age of vulnerability, the age where my father and thousands of others got pulled into religious cults, this is the age of believing and trying to find yourself and looking outward instead of inward to do so, and I know that I should put faith in myself instead of small crystals but I don’t know how to. I really don’t. She asked me of my past relationship and told me, spot on, why it had to end. I told her I wanted to be a writer and she said that she could see that, but that it wouldn’t happen unless I moved forward, until I put all of my stones behind me and leave untethered and unbound and walk away into a new place. She told me that I couldn’t live with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

“Here, here. Take these,” she said, putting clear quartz in my hands. “They cost a hundred dollars each but I want you to have them. You need them.” Pressed them into my palms and said in a full voice. Told me that I couldn’t have sex or drink in the next twenty four hours, that I should meditate 15 minutes and sleep in all white. I didn’t know what to say but ‘thank you.’ I wanted to know if I was going to be alright but she told me that I would if ‘the old man and the younger woman’ stopped blocking my way. I just feel strange, that’s all, because she told me some other things that were terribly true and I can’t shake them off and she didn’t look at me as much as she looked through me and I’m a fool for believing in these things but it just makes life so much more interesting to have faith in something intangible."